sangyeonlover (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sangyeonlover) wrote2022-11-04 02:05 am
sangyeonlover) wrote2022-11-04 02:05 am
Entry tags:
the making of taking to water
read my pride and joy here
this is going to be more of a deleted scenes and thought process post rather than commentary and analysis on the actual fic because then we would be here all day like All Day
i first saw this prompt in the sangyeon fest list of prompts about sangyeon/juyeon... i'll copy it down here word for word
"Sangyeon has a nephew, and he loves taking him to places, from the amusement park, the zoo, or the beach. One day he decides to bring his nephew to a fishing ground/fishing pool. He wanted to show him how to fish, because he definitely has read manuals and has fished around once before, but as he messed around with the fishing rod, he realized he forgotten how to.
But then, someone approached them, introducing himself as a fishing instructor. He easily taught Sangyeon the how-to's, and even taught Sangyeon's nephew as well. He found out later that instructor's name is Juyeon.
Ever since then, Sangyeon found himself visiting there often, just to get a glimpse of Juyeon and maybe talk to him for a bit."
obviously this was very interesting to me. we all know about fishing juyeon, the fishing show he went on and the pictures/videos of him holding a fish in his hands... this person also included sangyeon's nephew so like... sangyeon and children. there's a lot going on, as well as the intimacy of juyeon teaching sangyeon this thing and spending a lot of time together in nature... everything was quite set, i was hooked and ready to make this my prompt- it was sangyeon fest, how could i not swoop in to write a sangyeon fic?
HOWEVER. one of the conditions of the prompt was to make it sfw. and im an insane person so i knew i could not abide by that one condition. instead, i submitted my own self prompt that was basically the same prompt but i got rid of the nephew and i intended on adding nsfw scenes. there wasn't a way for this story to be a complete one with the same vibe i wanted it to have without having a nsfw scene, which was always intended to be the crux of the story, the payoff for the slow burn that has been building up through the whole story.
so work began on this thing in april 2022. at first it was quite nebulous- i only had the intention of having fishing be the main part of it and i started there with a lot of research on fishing and fishing in korea especially. i have no experience with fishing so i really had to start from the ground up. i think around this early stage i had also started to formulate the opening scene and include eric as a plot device to start off the story, as well as setting it in busan.
i didn't get very far beyond the initial part because i had to complete my exams and then stuff happened to me irl that ate up my time in may and most of june. however, mid-june was when i started picking up work on fishback. i also took inspiration from brokeback mountain around this time, leading to me coining the working title fishback. i had originally wanted the two of them to go fishing somewhere on a mountain (more similar to brokeback mountain and so i could write a camping scene) and looked at various mountains for it, such as jirisan, one of the tallest mountains in south korea. i had also planned for them to do a more intensive trip through the jirisan and surrounding peaks, including visiting a monastery and staying one night at a mountain shelter. however, i realized the fishing aspect would basically have to be abandoned, and that it felt too far to travel from busan, so i scrapped jirisan from the story- one potential title i did have at this stage was "jirisan sunrise."
july was when i really kicked things into gear. i had nothing going on in my life and without a routine, i had to create one. i aimed to write over a thousand words per day and i did stick to it quite well. i would start my day by getting up extremely early, reading for about an hour and then getting to writing. it was a nice little routine i set up to try and get myself in the mood for writing and also to enrich my writing bla bla bla.
i curated a playlist that i would loop over and over for the duration of my writing:
mystery of love by sufjan stevens (call me by your name soundtrack)
the wings by gustavo santaolalla (brokeback mountain soundtrack)
sweater weather by the neighbourhood
most of lana del rey's discography but most prominently being ride, florida kilos, arcadia, venice bitch, mariners' apartment complex
other things that really inspired me for this fic: call me by your name (movie), brokeback mountain (short story and movie), eleanor & park (book) plus i curated a list of aesthetics or tbz clips/pictures that really inspired the general vibe or even specific scenes in the fic.
i kept a planning document to write down small phrases or ideas that would pop into my head. i wouldn't write full scenes, just key words or notes so i remember them, here is some of it in the middle planning stage that didn't end up getting used:
chalk skyscrapers, draw the sky
tracing your spine like jagged mountains
rising mist of dawn
industrious
jangsan- part of himself in his hands
seagulls
in the planning document and around july-late july, i started to do a lot more research into how to write these two properly as i was freaking out about whether or not i was properly capturing their essences. i noted down their perceptions of each other through all the profiles they filled out for each other over the years, as well as their own self-perceptions. most interestingly, there was also sangyeon's episode of walking with juyeon, which provided the absolute best depiction of their dynamic and really them as people. i don't know that i could've written this without that episode because they already started off as a rarepair so it was really difficult to understand their exact dynamic, but thank you juyeon! their conversation on dadaepo beach at the end mirrors the conversation sangju have in walking with juyeon where they talk about first impressions!
i wanna talk more about some deleted scenes or plotlines. originally, eric and sunwoo had even smaller roles in the story. i didn't intend on making eric that important in the story but as i was writing his first visit, i realized i would have to bring him back and have him have a more full circle moment with sangyeon. i think initially eric wasn't even going to find out sangju were dating by the end and it was supposed to be more like a nod to the reader, that we know all this stuff happened to sangju but eric has no idea. sunwoo also wasn't supposed to appear but i wanted to integrate him in a bit more especially in the scene where sangyeon says he wants to hear more about eric's life. honestly writing eric with sangyeon was super easy, it came super naturally and they just work together.
originally the plotline for sangyeon's coworkers was going to be that jaehyun starts developing a crush on chanhee over the course of the fic and comes to terms with it, in a way that reflects sangyeon's own journey. (and also in a way that pushes my milnyu agenda) but i scrapped it because i wanted to go with established bbangnyu instead, who can still help sangyeon's journey when chanhee comes out to him and gets him thinking about how people around him can be queer and it's all normal. chanhee also serves as that rational side of sangyeon, prodding him a little to start thinking after that conversation about juyeon and later on when he encourages sangyeon to go after juyeon. younghoon ends up not doing much lol but his presence is important to the atmosphere!
when i was about a third into the story i had the idea of sending sangyeon on a blind date. i think that would reintroduce the heteronormative element into the story but also create some underlying tension between sangju. however, as i was crafting an imaginary girl, i realized i could try to accomplish something very interesting. so i devised the character of jusoon, who is literally just intended to be juyeon's mirror image but as a girl. she was created this way so sangyeon could feel instantly drawn to her because she shares the same features/mannerisms as juyeon but just in a more "socially acceptable" package. of course the realization doesn't come until later but i think i did a great job in adding this little element to the story and getting sangyeon a bit closer to realizing his feelings for juyeon. and fun fact, jihyun is literally just jaehyun but female too. sprinkled a little interesting implication there. this reminds me of an au i've discussed with star before about bbangmil and alternate universes... anyway.
i focused very heavily on sangyeon's family and the physical distance between all of them because it's what's at the forefront of sangyeon's mind for most of the story. as his sister describes it, he's always been very close to his family and stuck around them a lot, to the point where his sister worries he's too dependent on them/needs to go out on his own and encourages him to go find himself. i wasn't fretting exactly but i did have to think a bit about how to best write sangyeon's sister because we have nothing to go off of. i kept her very similar to sangyeon, which i think worked out best because she's able to really understand him in a way the other characters aren't and also provide that comfort he doesn't get from the others. the physical distance is really the main conflict of the story but sangyeon's sister also plays a big part in helping him understand he can go off on his own and live his own life without worrying about them.
and about sangyeon's dad... i only found out that he passed away earlier in his life a few weeks before i finished writing fishback. but because i've barely mentioned his parents, i was able to work some of it into the story without having to force it- the initial jeju island fishing memory was written before i knew. i debated including it but in the end i did because i felt that it actually helped give more depth into his character rather than detract or feel random. and maybe that's just because i know how to write a good sangyeon lol.
once i was done with the main story, i briefly contemplated writing a prequel/oneshot from juyeon's perspective. but i did play more fast and loose with juyeon's storyline and i didn't keep as much from his canon life in the story. but there is certainly stuff to explore re:juyeon's backstory but also certain scenes i'd like to see from his perspective (the conversation with eric, that first ride home, him being dropped off after the hospital and what made him turn around, younghoon accidentally telling him they're all leaving soon and wheh he walks sangyeon home, obviously the scene in the stream, sangyeon leaving him "for good") but i don't have solid plans for writing it. i said that this would be my first and last sangju and i do mean it, but if i ever feel the urge to revisit this story i'll probably be posting it on here rather than ao3.
also i was nearly tearing my hair out because this darned fanfic wasn't done the night before the original deadline, until i found out there was a whole month of extension. but i know the quality of my work would've suffered under the original deadline lol.
so why fishing?
well. firstly it was the prompt that gave me the idea but i really did understand how perfect the prompt is for this ship because it's really something you can only write with these two. i don't know if this story, with this setting and tone, would work with any other the boyz combo. it has to be sangyeon and juyeon, which is why i think it's absolutely perfect. fishing involves this quiet calmness that these two share in their disposition, as well as fishing being a traditionally masculine yet homoerotic activity, in addition to it being a common Korean pastime. plus men being alone in nature, being away from society and all the conditions that come with society, just being themselves around each other is such an appealing thing to explore that i couldn't help but need to write it.
at the end of the day, even though the story is all about the development of sangyeon and juyeon's relationship, this is really a sangyeon character study. i can't emphasise just how much i love lee sangyeon, how deeply i want to know him and get into his brain... it's still sangyeon's birthday as i'm writing this so! happy birthday sangyeon! i hope to god you did not read this because that would be embarrassing. but anyway. this fic is about a lot of things. it's about fishing, it's about the intimate relationship between two fishing buddies, it's about family, it's about jaehyun being the butt of every joke, it's about heteronormativity in east asian culture, it's about friendship, it's about men exploring each other's bodies, it's about love, etc etc. but in the end, it's all told through sangyeon's perspectives, through sangyeon's relationships and trials and tribulations and thoughts and dreams. this is really sangyeon's story and i'm just telling it.
if you read this whole thing, thank you! thanks for supporting this fic because i really genuinely wrote it for the arts not the charts, i poured my blood sweat and tears into it etc. i wrote this down in my authors note but i am truly thankful to my friends who have all laid their eyes on this monster of a fic and helped me go through it and tease out the awkward parts and provided me with advice and emotional support. it really means very much to me that you all care about me and my silly fic.
also i'm never writing sangju again. i mean it.
this is going to be more of a deleted scenes and thought process post rather than commentary and analysis on the actual fic because then we would be here all day like All Day
i first saw this prompt in the sangyeon fest list of prompts about sangyeon/juyeon... i'll copy it down here word for word
"Sangyeon has a nephew, and he loves taking him to places, from the amusement park, the zoo, or the beach. One day he decides to bring his nephew to a fishing ground/fishing pool. He wanted to show him how to fish, because he definitely has read manuals and has fished around once before, but as he messed around with the fishing rod, he realized he forgotten how to.
But then, someone approached them, introducing himself as a fishing instructor. He easily taught Sangyeon the how-to's, and even taught Sangyeon's nephew as well. He found out later that instructor's name is Juyeon.
Ever since then, Sangyeon found himself visiting there often, just to get a glimpse of Juyeon and maybe talk to him for a bit."
obviously this was very interesting to me. we all know about fishing juyeon, the fishing show he went on and the pictures/videos of him holding a fish in his hands... this person also included sangyeon's nephew so like... sangyeon and children. there's a lot going on, as well as the intimacy of juyeon teaching sangyeon this thing and spending a lot of time together in nature... everything was quite set, i was hooked and ready to make this my prompt- it was sangyeon fest, how could i not swoop in to write a sangyeon fic?
HOWEVER. one of the conditions of the prompt was to make it sfw. and im an insane person so i knew i could not abide by that one condition. instead, i submitted my own self prompt that was basically the same prompt but i got rid of the nephew and i intended on adding nsfw scenes. there wasn't a way for this story to be a complete one with the same vibe i wanted it to have without having a nsfw scene, which was always intended to be the crux of the story, the payoff for the slow burn that has been building up through the whole story.
so work began on this thing in april 2022. at first it was quite nebulous- i only had the intention of having fishing be the main part of it and i started there with a lot of research on fishing and fishing in korea especially. i have no experience with fishing so i really had to start from the ground up. i think around this early stage i had also started to formulate the opening scene and include eric as a plot device to start off the story, as well as setting it in busan.
i didn't get very far beyond the initial part because i had to complete my exams and then stuff happened to me irl that ate up my time in may and most of june. however, mid-june was when i started picking up work on fishback. i also took inspiration from brokeback mountain around this time, leading to me coining the working title fishback. i had originally wanted the two of them to go fishing somewhere on a mountain (more similar to brokeback mountain and so i could write a camping scene) and looked at various mountains for it, such as jirisan, one of the tallest mountains in south korea. i had also planned for them to do a more intensive trip through the jirisan and surrounding peaks, including visiting a monastery and staying one night at a mountain shelter. however, i realized the fishing aspect would basically have to be abandoned, and that it felt too far to travel from busan, so i scrapped jirisan from the story- one potential title i did have at this stage was "jirisan sunrise."
july was when i really kicked things into gear. i had nothing going on in my life and without a routine, i had to create one. i aimed to write over a thousand words per day and i did stick to it quite well. i would start my day by getting up extremely early, reading for about an hour and then getting to writing. it was a nice little routine i set up to try and get myself in the mood for writing and also to enrich my writing bla bla bla.
i curated a playlist that i would loop over and over for the duration of my writing:
mystery of love by sufjan stevens (call me by your name soundtrack)
the wings by gustavo santaolalla (brokeback mountain soundtrack)
sweater weather by the neighbourhood
most of lana del rey's discography but most prominently being ride, florida kilos, arcadia, venice bitch, mariners' apartment complex
other things that really inspired me for this fic: call me by your name (movie), brokeback mountain (short story and movie), eleanor & park (book) plus i curated a list of aesthetics or tbz clips/pictures that really inspired the general vibe or even specific scenes in the fic.
i kept a planning document to write down small phrases or ideas that would pop into my head. i wouldn't write full scenes, just key words or notes so i remember them, here is some of it in the middle planning stage that didn't end up getting used:
chalk skyscrapers, draw the sky
tracing your spine like jagged mountains
rising mist of dawn
industrious
jangsan- part of himself in his hands
seagulls
in the planning document and around july-late july, i started to do a lot more research into how to write these two properly as i was freaking out about whether or not i was properly capturing their essences. i noted down their perceptions of each other through all the profiles they filled out for each other over the years, as well as their own self-perceptions. most interestingly, there was also sangyeon's episode of walking with juyeon, which provided the absolute best depiction of their dynamic and really them as people. i don't know that i could've written this without that episode because they already started off as a rarepair so it was really difficult to understand their exact dynamic, but thank you juyeon! their conversation on dadaepo beach at the end mirrors the conversation sangju have in walking with juyeon where they talk about first impressions!
i wanna talk more about some deleted scenes or plotlines. originally, eric and sunwoo had even smaller roles in the story. i didn't intend on making eric that important in the story but as i was writing his first visit, i realized i would have to bring him back and have him have a more full circle moment with sangyeon. i think initially eric wasn't even going to find out sangju were dating by the end and it was supposed to be more like a nod to the reader, that we know all this stuff happened to sangju but eric has no idea. sunwoo also wasn't supposed to appear but i wanted to integrate him in a bit more especially in the scene where sangyeon says he wants to hear more about eric's life. honestly writing eric with sangyeon was super easy, it came super naturally and they just work together.
originally the plotline for sangyeon's coworkers was going to be that jaehyun starts developing a crush on chanhee over the course of the fic and comes to terms with it, in a way that reflects sangyeon's own journey. (and also in a way that pushes my milnyu agenda) but i scrapped it because i wanted to go with established bbangnyu instead, who can still help sangyeon's journey when chanhee comes out to him and gets him thinking about how people around him can be queer and it's all normal. chanhee also serves as that rational side of sangyeon, prodding him a little to start thinking after that conversation about juyeon and later on when he encourages sangyeon to go after juyeon. younghoon ends up not doing much lol but his presence is important to the atmosphere!
when i was about a third into the story i had the idea of sending sangyeon on a blind date. i think that would reintroduce the heteronormative element into the story but also create some underlying tension between sangju. however, as i was crafting an imaginary girl, i realized i could try to accomplish something very interesting. so i devised the character of jusoon, who is literally just intended to be juyeon's mirror image but as a girl. she was created this way so sangyeon could feel instantly drawn to her because she shares the same features/mannerisms as juyeon but just in a more "socially acceptable" package. of course the realization doesn't come until later but i think i did a great job in adding this little element to the story and getting sangyeon a bit closer to realizing his feelings for juyeon. and fun fact, jihyun is literally just jaehyun but female too. sprinkled a little interesting implication there. this reminds me of an au i've discussed with star before about bbangmil and alternate universes... anyway.
i focused very heavily on sangyeon's family and the physical distance between all of them because it's what's at the forefront of sangyeon's mind for most of the story. as his sister describes it, he's always been very close to his family and stuck around them a lot, to the point where his sister worries he's too dependent on them/needs to go out on his own and encourages him to go find himself. i wasn't fretting exactly but i did have to think a bit about how to best write sangyeon's sister because we have nothing to go off of. i kept her very similar to sangyeon, which i think worked out best because she's able to really understand him in a way the other characters aren't and also provide that comfort he doesn't get from the others. the physical distance is really the main conflict of the story but sangyeon's sister also plays a big part in helping him understand he can go off on his own and live his own life without worrying about them.
and about sangyeon's dad... i only found out that he passed away earlier in his life a few weeks before i finished writing fishback. but because i've barely mentioned his parents, i was able to work some of it into the story without having to force it- the initial jeju island fishing memory was written before i knew. i debated including it but in the end i did because i felt that it actually helped give more depth into his character rather than detract or feel random. and maybe that's just because i know how to write a good sangyeon lol.
once i was done with the main story, i briefly contemplated writing a prequel/oneshot from juyeon's perspective. but i did play more fast and loose with juyeon's storyline and i didn't keep as much from his canon life in the story. but there is certainly stuff to explore re:juyeon's backstory but also certain scenes i'd like to see from his perspective (the conversation with eric, that first ride home, him being dropped off after the hospital and what made him turn around, younghoon accidentally telling him they're all leaving soon and wheh he walks sangyeon home, obviously the scene in the stream, sangyeon leaving him "for good") but i don't have solid plans for writing it. i said that this would be my first and last sangju and i do mean it, but if i ever feel the urge to revisit this story i'll probably be posting it on here rather than ao3.
also i was nearly tearing my hair out because this darned fanfic wasn't done the night before the original deadline, until i found out there was a whole month of extension. but i know the quality of my work would've suffered under the original deadline lol.
so why fishing?
well. firstly it was the prompt that gave me the idea but i really did understand how perfect the prompt is for this ship because it's really something you can only write with these two. i don't know if this story, with this setting and tone, would work with any other the boyz combo. it has to be sangyeon and juyeon, which is why i think it's absolutely perfect. fishing involves this quiet calmness that these two share in their disposition, as well as fishing being a traditionally masculine yet homoerotic activity, in addition to it being a common Korean pastime. plus men being alone in nature, being away from society and all the conditions that come with society, just being themselves around each other is such an appealing thing to explore that i couldn't help but need to write it.
at the end of the day, even though the story is all about the development of sangyeon and juyeon's relationship, this is really a sangyeon character study. i can't emphasise just how much i love lee sangyeon, how deeply i want to know him and get into his brain... it's still sangyeon's birthday as i'm writing this so! happy birthday sangyeon! i hope to god you did not read this because that would be embarrassing. but anyway. this fic is about a lot of things. it's about fishing, it's about the intimate relationship between two fishing buddies, it's about family, it's about jaehyun being the butt of every joke, it's about heteronormativity in east asian culture, it's about friendship, it's about men exploring each other's bodies, it's about love, etc etc. but in the end, it's all told through sangyeon's perspectives, through sangyeon's relationships and trials and tribulations and thoughts and dreams. this is really sangyeon's story and i'm just telling it.
if you read this whole thing, thank you! thanks for supporting this fic because i really genuinely wrote it for the arts not the charts, i poured my blood sweat and tears into it etc. i wrote this down in my authors note but i am truly thankful to my friends who have all laid their eyes on this monster of a fic and helped me go through it and tease out the awkward parts and provided me with advice and emotional support. it really means very much to me that you all care about me and my silly fic.
also i'm never writing sangju again. i mean it.